


Connie’s Flaw

by CaptainJZH



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Dirty Jokes, Friendship, Gen, Moral Lessons, Offensive Humor, Sort Of, and some race-based jokes, but not meant to make the reader uncomfortable, not sure how to tag this, so be aware, there’s a joke referencing a homophobic slur
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-03
Updated: 2020-11-03
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:53:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27367594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaptainJZH/pseuds/CaptainJZH
Summary: Connie is upset with her friends over a joke they made, but is she the one at fault?
Relationships: Connie Maheswaran/Steven Universe, Daniel & Connie Maheswaran & Patricia, Jeff & Connie Maheswaran
Comments: 1
Kudos: 26





	Connie’s Flaw

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: Contains dirty jokes relating to race and homosexuality. The intention with this fic is not to be insensitive — interactions here are based on me and my own PoC & LGBT+ friends — but instead to realistically show friends who are close enough to make jokes that could otherwise be hurtful. Likewise, Connie’s lesson is not meant to invalidate those who would actually be hurt by such jokes, but rather show that if everyone in the group is ultimately okay with it, then it’s perfectly harmless in a private context.
> 
> If this doesn’t sound like a fic you’d enjoy or agree with, then tread no further! I won’t judge you if you don’t judge me.

“La Pomme” was a small little restaurant near Jayhawk, serving French cuisine for good prices — they had to be, given its location in a college town. Connie had just gotten back from one of her extended visits with Steven, and was sitting at a table with her three friends — Daniel, Patricia and Jeff.

Daniel and Patricia she met back in high school, and Jeff she knew from when she flipped him and broke his arm in middle school. They had just ordered their entrees and were digging into the bread.

“Mmm,” Daniel said as he bit into the toasted roll. “You know, even though the French colonized the _fuck_ out of Africa, their food can’t be beat!”

  
Jeff chuckled, looking across at his black friend. “Dan, you better get out of here, or else the French are gonna colonize you.”

“Heh, Connie and I are lucky we didn’t go to that British restaurant, they’d colonize the fuck out of us too,” Patricia chimed in, her family being from Pakistan.

Jeff and Daniel burst into laughter at that. Connie, on the other hand, wasn’t laughing.

“Can we not joke about that?” Connie asked. She knew they didn’t mean offense, but she felt like she had to let them know what they did wrong. “Like, that’s not something you joke about.”

Jeff, Daniel and Patricia all looked at each other awkwardly and shrugged. Soon, the dinner course arrived and they all dug into their respective meals.

“What’d you order, Jeff?” Daniel asked.

Jeff had ordered the foie gras, but instead pronounced it “fahg-rah.” Connie knew what part of it sounded like, and cringed internally.

_“Excuse me?”_ Patricia asked, stifling a laugh. “Did I hear that right?”

Jeff was smiling, realizing what he did. It didn’t matter to him, though, since he himself was gay. “I know what I said.”

“The only difference is that one is made from a gay goose and the other’s a straight goose,” Daniel commented.

“How can you tell?” Patricia asked.

Jeff and Daniel both looked at each other, knowing exactly what the other was thinking. They both spoke simultaneously. _“Because one can take it up the ass and the other can ram it up a pussy!”_

“What the _hell_ , guys?” Connie asked, her eyes wide. The table went quiet.

“What’s wrong, Con?” Patricia asked, looking over at her.

Connie struggled to find the words. “That’s just… I dunno, it’s… It’s offensive...”

“How?” Daniel asked.

“Daniel, just let it go,” Jeff warned.

“I wanna know what was wrong with that joke,” Daniel countered. “I thought it was pretty funny.”

Connie opened her mouth to speak, but she couldn’t really pinpoint _why_ she was offended. In fact, she wasn’t offended because it hurt her specifically, just that she knew that there were people who could have been hurt by it had they heard it, and she felt like she had to stand up for them.

Jeff sighed. “Connie, we love you and all, but…”

“But what?” Connie asked.

“You make everything into some moral crusade!” Patricia blurted out.

Connie paused. “...I don’t make everything into a crusade.”

“Connie,” Daniel told her. “You got mad when we watched that movie about the ferrets who become secret agents, because it somehow ‘propagandized the inherently corrupt upper echelons of law enforcement.’”

“And then you ranted about how wrong it was for Califarmland to ban ferrets, which somehow turned into a rant about capitalism,” Patricia added. “And sometimes we just wanna have fun? And it’s like, every time lately?”

Connie’s hand’s gripped the sides of her chair, hard. She was mad, but she didn’t know what she was mad at. She was right to be offended, wasn’t she? But these were her friends. She didn’t _want_ to be mad at them. 

So she let the issue drop, quietly letting the rest of the evening pass by. After they finished their meal and left for their respective residences, Connie, still feeling miffed at her friends for calling her out like that, hopped on Lion and rode him through the warp stream.

“Connie?” Steven asked after she knocked on his motel door. He immediately gave her the biggest hug he could muster. “It’s good to see you!”

“It’s good to see you too,” Connie said with a noticeable sigh.

“Connie, is something wrong?”

“No… Well, yes… It’s a long story.”

\---

“And then _I’m_ the buzzkill?” Connie vented, pacing around the room. “They’re the ones making dirty jokes! And I’m not going to even _get into_ the ethical implications of what Jeff ordered.”

Steven sat on the bed, thinking. He had to break this to her gently. “Connie…”

“What?” she asked, snapping out of her rant.

“I think I agree with your friends on this one.”

_“What?!”_

“Listen, listen,” Steven said, gesturing for her to sit next to him. She went and did. “That joke? The one about the gay goose taking it up the ass and the straight goose ramming it up a pussy?”

“Yeah?”

“It’s from an old movie from, like, the ‘80s. It’s _really_ funny, heh. I know it ‘cause Amethyst showed me it a few years ago. Your friends probably watched it while you were away.”

“Well… That doesn’t make it right.”

“I mean, did you not like it ‘cause it hurt you personally?”

“...No, but other people might have been uncomfortable with it and I guess I just wanted to stand up for them?”

Steven thought for a moment, then spoke. “But if it was just between your friends, maybe you should just relax. It wasn’t hurting you, or Daniel, or Patricia, or Jeff. If it was around someone who _was_ uncomfy with it, then sure! Stand up for them! Stand up for yourself, even! But not everything needs a callout.”

“...Do I do that a lot?”

Steven sighed. “Kinda, yeah. I never said anything ‘cause that’s what I love about you! How opinionated you are, how much you fight for what’s right. Heck, that’s why you got into sociology, right?”

“Yeah,” Connie smiled. “But I guess I can go too hard with it, huh?”

“There have been some nights when I just wanna relax and watch TV, y’know? And sometimes they’ll make a political joke that gets to you and you just start ranting about the primaries or _something_ and it’s...tiring?”

Connie sat in silence for a moment, processing this. “I’m sorry,” she finally said. She buried her face in her hands. “Ugh, I’m annoying, aren’t I?”

“You’re not annoying,” Steven assured her. “You’re my girlfriend. I love you, remember?”

Connie laughed. “Oh, my memory must be failing me. How could I have forgotten?”

Steven pulled her into another hug. “See? Doesn’t it feel better to laugh?”

Connie nodded. “Yeah, it does. I should really apologize to my friends, huh. Was I being a jerk?”

“No, no,” Steven said. “You got carried away. Doesn’t mean you have to stop altogether. You just gotta...read the room? Control yourself a little more? My therapist said something along those lines last session.”

“Oh?”

“See, I had the opposite problem,” Steven explained. “I kept making jokes about my C-PTSD, and then kept getting mad when people got uncomfortable. I had to realize that there’s a time and place, y’know? ‘Cause I know I can make those jokes with you and Peedee.”

“And my friends probably thought the same thing with me,” Connie realized. “Ugh, I’m an idiot! They thought I was close enough with them to have in-jokes like that and I treated them like I was writing an editorial!”

“Well, _are_ you close enough with them to make jokes like that?”

“...I think so?”

“Then I’m sure they’ll understand,” Steven said. “Hell, the fact that they called you out on it means they care.”

“Yeah…” Connie mused. “Thanks for listening, Steven.”

“No prob, Bob.”

“...It’s Connie,” Connie said before bursting into laughter at the reference.

\---

“In conclusion… I’m sorry, and I promise to be more fun and less stick-in-the-muddy,” Connie told her friends as they sat in the dorm lounge. “If you can’t laugh with your friends, after all, who can you laugh at?”

“Thanks, Con-Con,” Patricia said, patting her on the back.

Jeff and Daniel silently exchanged five bucks behind each other’s backs, having bet on whether Connie would actually listen. Jeff won.

“We’re gonna have so much fun!” Jeff squeed. “Ooh, we should show Connie that movie we watched.” He ran off to his dorm to grab his DVD collection.

“That took some guts, Ni,” Daniel said. “I gotta say, I’m kinda proud.”

“Only kinda?” Connie said with a chuckle.

Daniel punched her in the shoulder. “Shut up,” he laughed.

As they watched the movie, Connie consciously pulled herself back and just let herself have fun. And it was great! Like the huge weight of constant caring was lifted off her shoulders. Of course, the movie, being from the ‘80s, had a few sexist moments, but Connie just decided to joke about them.

It was, after all, only a movie.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to E350tb and DSDuke for beta reading! 
> 
> This probably won’t be everyone’s cup of tea, but I thought it was an idea worth exploring — as much as people like to write Connie as always speaking truth to power and all that, I’ve known people who take it too far and complain about everything, to the point where a night can easily be ruined. It’s both a flaw and a strength, and the real power is knowing when’s a good time for it.


End file.
